would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
