i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
