mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I can't turn off my feet"
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
