I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
