she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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