You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
