I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
