The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize