Kiss
Puke
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
