My brain says no but my pants say off.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm at about main and main street
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
