my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
