So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
