so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
