Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
