i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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