i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
