Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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