Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
