I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
After tacos, we're chasing women.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
