i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
