Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
she looked like the before picture.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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