Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
