You're so nebulous sometimes
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
