Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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