we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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