Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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