Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
