I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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