Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
