Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
