I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize