I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Randomize
