Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Is it penis luge time yet?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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