i'm signing you up for texting rehab
If that was your dad, he is hot
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
