i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
