I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
