she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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