She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
