So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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