I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
