yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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