How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
