I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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