shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
