rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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