yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize