I think scott just propositioned me for sex
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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