I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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