:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
