My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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