Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
