I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
