he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
