tell your sister to shave her snatch
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
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