we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
