Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Well I just put wine in my tea
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
