Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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