Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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