I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
