Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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