I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
