I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
