he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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