Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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