Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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