Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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