Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
