just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
