Buhtt sex?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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