he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
