Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
