You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
